Jenny: Abby also doesn’t have enemies. I mean, it’s not like we’re talking about Agent DiNozzo.
Tony: Hey!…. Ma’am Tony: I mean, really, who would wanna kill Abby?

Abby: Me? Who would wanna kill me? I mean, Tony I understand
Tony: Hey!

McGee: That’s true. It’s not like someone was after Tony.
Ziva: Now, that’s a suspect lies I wouldn’t want to run down again.
Tony: I think the joke’s over. We get it. 

NCIS // 3x21 // Bloodbath 

Ziva: Do you ever think about soulmates?
Tony: They were on Decca, right? Big hit, mid-70s? Sort of a disco thing? Sing a few bars, I’ll get it.
Ziva: … You’ll never get it.

NCIS// 5x08 // Designated Target

“Till Death Do Us Part”

Ziva: I’m begging you. Please.
Tony: No. No way. I don’t care how nice you are, how much you bribe me, or how much you threaten me. Not filling out the paperwork.
Ziva: It’s not the filing of the accident report I object to. I’d prefer if you said you were driving the car.
Tony: Well that would be lying and lying is bad.
Ziva: Will you just listen to me?!
Tony: I’m listening.
Ziva: You’re right. I’m sorry. I’ve been at NCIS for a short while, and it would look very bad to have another accident on my dossier.
Tony: Another accident?
Ziva: I’ve had some…difficulties.
Tony: Some indicates more than one. How many?
Ziva: It that really important? (Tony looks at her) Three. But the second was not my fault. Now are you going to help me? Yes or no?
Tony: Well, that depends. What’s in it for me?
Ziva: Anything you want.
Tony: Anything?

NCIS // 3x20 // Untouchable 

NCIS // 3x20 // Untouchable 

NCIS // 3x20 // Untouchable 

Tony: Old bat that lives next door to me complains every time I bring a date home. Wanna know why?
Ziva: Shouting of ‘No means no!’?
Tony: Huh, was a good one, but not even close.
Ziva: I was actually kidding, I have the same problem at my place Tony
Tony: Really? You have a surround sound system too?
Ziva: No, I am what you Americans like to call a screamer, yes?

NCIS // 3x20 // Untouchable